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My son's 4th anniversary is coming up in May 2, 08. Already I am struggling with this. I look for flowers to take to the cemetary and the crash site. I wonder where he would be in life today. A young lady he went to church with in his youth is getting married on his heaven anniversary. My heart broke all over again. Why isn't my son getting married. This is how life is for me now. It isn't that I do not smile or enjoy a bright sunny day. The loss of my son & his life can seem so overwhelming. I desire to pack away his things and so something else with his bedroom. I go in the room to try to pack away a few things and cannot bring myself to move anything. I enjoy touching his things, knowing he touched them. Anyone else find themselves in this place?

My Mother has been dead for three years. I have given away her things and donated the others. I believe that is what she would have wanted. My mother was a strong and vibrant woman who believed that above all else there is hope. The week before she died, confined to a wheelchair, she told her doctor "You never know I could still have a miracle". I hold these word to be true every day of my life, to give me inspiration, and to never succumb to the weakness in my mind. I believe that the Lord lives in my heart every day, and because of that I will feel no desparity or hopelessness. As long as her strength and love live within the body she has created I will have no fear and I will live every day by the grace of God. I want to be the Champion that Christ has intented me to be, regardless of the pain I will endure.